Two girls were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says,“Why are you arguing?”
One girl answers, “We found a ten dollar and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher,”When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”
The girls gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology.
After one week, a test was held.
The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into four squares. In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird’s legs. No bodies,no feet, just legs.
The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs.
The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute.
Finally, he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test paper on the teacher’s desk.
“This is the worst test I have ever given.”
The teacher looked up and said, “Young man, you have flunked the test. What’s your name?“
The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said, “You tell me”.
One evening, a Hindi professor(who can not speak english)goes to the theatre with his wife.
There he sees his student Rahul but the student doesn’t see him.The next day in school,
STUDENT : Sir, gud morning!
PROFESSOR : A bhery good morning same to tohar. Tumko say bhul gaya ki tomorrow ebhaning, I saw you in the movie thetre with my wife!
STUDENT : What!!!!
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
“Take only ONE. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line,at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note:
“Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
“I pray for a new bicycle!”
“I pray for a new Nintendo!”
“I pray for a new VCR!”
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.“
To which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!“
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “God is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”
The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he’s out there?”
“Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, “God? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”
Ek chote bacche ne apani pregnant mummy se pucha : Isme kya hai?
Mummy : Issme pyara sa Baby hai.
Baccha : Itana pyara tha to khaya kyu ussko?
A teacher once asks all students to write an essay on the topic “A Poor Family”. One student gets the lowest marks for writing that essay . The student happens to be the richest girl in the entire class and her essay goes on as…
She writes :
Ek baar ek bahut hee gareeb family thi, husband aur wife dono gareeb they, doo bachey they, woh bhi bahut gareeb they!!!
Ghar ke saare naukar bhi gareeb they, ghar ka maali, driver aur guard bhi bahut gareeb they, ghar ke 4 kuttey bhi gareeb they, 2 din sey chicken nahi khaaya tha, 3 mercedeez car thi,
unki bahut time se servicing nahi hui thi, ghar ka A.C bhi theek nahi chalta tha, ghar mein 1 saal sey paint nahi hua tha family ko holiday ke liye foreign country gaye bhi 6 mahiney ho gaye they, ghar ke 5 mein sey 2 TV to chaltey hee nahi they, all in all, bahut he gareeb family thi!!!!!
Little Radha was practicing the violin in the living room while her father was trying to read in the newspapper.
The family dog was lying and as the screeching sounds of little Radha’s violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.
The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, “For pity’s sake, can’t you play something the dog doesn’t know?”
Sign on a railway station at Patna:
Aana free, jaana free,
Pakde gaye to khana free.
Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don’t whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!
Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative
More the success, more the relatives.
Sign at a barber’s saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
We need your heads to run our business.
A traffic slogan:
Don’t let your kids drive if they are not old enough
or else they never will be.
THE BEST ONE:
Its God’s responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations
It’s our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god.
- Indian Armed Forces
So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: “Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!”
“Are you crazy? It’d kill me, you idiot! I’m out of here!” As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:
“You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general.”
So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: “Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!”
“Are you crazy? It’d kill me, you idiot! I’m out of here!” As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:
“You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general.”
John Abraham was driving down the street in a sweat because he
had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said “Lord, take pity on me.
If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the
rest of my life and give up tequila.”
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
John looked up again and said,
“Never mind. I found one.”
With Santa singh…
The Story So Far…
Santa Singh has answered 12 out of the 15 questions correct and has used all his lifelines except for “50-50″ and “Phone a Friend”.
Santa Singh is playing the 13 th Question now which is for 25 Lacs. Let’s see what happens next… 
Amitabh Bachchan : Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke liye, yeh raha aapke saamne aapki Computer Screen par…
Munna Bhai nay pehlay din office khola to bara khush tha. Us ki secertary nay bataya ke bahar aik aadmi aaya hai.
Munna bara khush hua aur usay andar aanay ke liye kaha. Us ke andar aanay say pehlay Munna nay socha ke us par impression dalna chahiye aur phone utha ke batien karnay laga.
“Haan Haan! 500 rupay fees hai, apun 10 baje tak betha hai idher, is say late nahi karnay ka, apun bahut busy hai”.
Us ke baad us nay phone rakha aur aanay walay say poocha “Beth na Maamoon, apun teray liye kya kar sakta hai?”
Man: Mien yahaan phone sahi karnay aaya hoon.
