Two girls were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says,“Why are you arguing?”

One girl answers, “We found a ten dollar and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher,”When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The girls gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology.

After one week, a test was held.

The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into four squares. In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird’s legs. No bodies,no feet, just legs.

The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs.

The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute.

Finally, he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test paper on the teacher’s desk.

“This is the worst test I have ever given.”

The teacher looked up and said, “Young man, you have flunked the test. What’s your name?“

The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said, “You tell me”.

One evening, a Hindi professor(who can not speak english)goes to the theatre with his wife.

There he sees his student Rahul but the student doesn’t see him.The next day in school,

STUDENT : Sir, gud morning!

PROFESSOR : A bhery good morning same to tohar. Tumko say bhul gaya ki tomorrow ebhaning, I saw you in the movie thetre with my wife!

STUDENT : What!!!!

Teacher : There is a frog, ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age?
Student : 32 yrs.

Teacher : How do you know?
Student : Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

“Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line,at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note:

“Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas.

At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.

“I pray for a new bicycle!”
“I pray for a new Nintendo!”
“I pray for a new VCR!”

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.“

To which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!“

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “God is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he’s out there?”

“Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, “God? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”